Anger Detachment

Assalamu alaikum. This is a response to a comment requesting me by AK Edits, so shout out to AK Edits, asking about how to control your anger. Obviously, the best practical advice on how to control your anger and I've never seen anything more practical than this is the advice of Rasulullah SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. Sit down, lay down, have wudu, pray to raka. And when we read the Sira, we see that Rasulullah would also self isolate from situations that might give rise to anger or outbursts of anger.

You'll never come across measures better than these. Of course, along with seeking refuge with Allah from shaitan because shaitan may not be the source of your anger, but he will exploit it and try to provoke you further. But all of these measures obviously require some degree of discipline, self awareness, and a restraining instinct. And if that if those qualities haven't been developed in you, then you're not gonna be cognizant enough to even implement the measures suggested by your honor So on this, I would I would say a couple of things. First of all, you need to identify whether or not it's actually even anger that you're feeling because men have a tendency to express any number of emotions in the form of anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, hurt, pain, loss, embarrassment.

For men, usually any of these emotions get expressed in some form of anger. They manifest in anger. So for your own effectiveness in dealing with your emotions, you ought to know what it is that you're actually feeling. In order to be able to do this, you have to develop some degree of distance between yourself and your feelings, between yourself and your emotions. That's almost always going to mean developing a distance between yourself and the dunya.

Connection to or absorption in the dunya is usually at the core of any strong emotions, anger included. So you have to work on detachment from the dunya. The best practical measure that I know of from my own personal experience for developing a detachment from the dunya is the fast of Nabi Dawud, The one day on, one day off fasting, fasting every other day. This is the hardest, most challenging form of fasting there is, much harder than fasting many days in a row because you never actually get used to it. It's physically and psychologically very challenging.

And the natural result of that when you practice it is that you become less and less attached to the dunya, less responsive to your urges, and more refined in your self discipline, self awareness, and reflection. These are all prerequisite qualities for being able to control your anger. If you do that fast for some period of time, you will get to the point where if an emotion pops up, you'll look at it, scrutinize it, and then decide what to do with it. It never seizes you, so that will give you a massive head start on anger. Further than this, I would suggest any activities that enhance your capacity for self denial and suppression of your nefs.

Do fewer self indulgent activities and more uncomfortable and monotonous activities, things you don't particularly like doing, and, of course, regular exercise. And then I would suggest any activities that require you to control or channel your adrenaline, things like training in combat sports or even public speaking. All of these types of things will help to, subdue emotions, subdue feelings, and restrict the reflex to act on them. And that's, of course, going to help you in the management of anger. If you haven't done the prerequisite work of building a capacity for subduing your emotions and restricting your reflexes and detaching as much as possible from dunya, then the only other advice that I could give would be the advice of Rasulullah about in a moment of anger, try to catch yourself, try to stop, don't speak, sit down, lay down if if necessary, have uddu, pray to raka'a, isolate yourself, these kinds of things.

But for the future, try to prepare yourself by developing a greater detachment from the dunya. I hope that helps.