Qawwama: an Inescapable Reality

We're living in a time when it seems frequently necessary to state the obvious. So there's an obvious reality that we're all aware of, but I think sometimes we pretend is not a factor in interactions between men and women, but it is a factor. It's a constant factor, and that is the fact that men, by their very nature, have a coercive presence relative to women. On average, men are bigger, stronger, more assertive, more aggressive, often think faster and more concisely, have more experience, are more adept, and have a dominating dominant personality or energy compared to women, and they're generally more driven in getting what they want. Men are thoroughbred instinctive hunters.

Now feminists, equality fantasists, or women who wanna think of themselves as strong and independent may choose to deny this, but at their own risk. Women's strength and independence can only ever operate within the parameters of men's allowance. If a man does not take advantage of you, does not pressure you, does not intimidate you, does not coerce you, does not force you to do something, I'm not talking about sexual assault or sexual harassment, although that's also a thing that can happen, But I mean something as simple as jumping in front of you in the queue or talking you into buying something that you don't want. If a man doesn't do any of these things, you have to understand that that is a choice he is making to be decent with you because the simple fact of the matter is that a man cannot be restrained or resisted by a woman if he chooses to be aggressive. Only another man can keep a man in check, and only men do keep the aggression of other men in check.

That's called civilization. That's called law. That's called organized society. Men keeping other men in check. Women have the privilege of being unappreciative, ungrateful, or hostile towards men because they live their entire lives in the safety of men's self restraint, and patience.

That's the kawama of men over women. Because if a man decides to be monstrous towards a woman, the woman will be victimized. That scenario seldom ever plays out differently. This is precisely why she needs a kawam. If you think about it, kawama is really miraculous because the natural instinct and inclination of men towards vulnerability, towards weakness, towards helplessness is predatory.

We go through life generally in a competitive, combative way. Men are ruthless. If the theory of evolution were true, women's lives would be a series of atrocities from start to finish. If men were indeed animals, we would be the most savage, brutal, dangerous animals on the planet, and nothing evidences our higher nature more than wama. So we have to acknowledge that there is always a severe power imbalance in any interaction between a man and a woman.

Men are innately aware of this, but I think women tend to forget it because they have gotten so accustomed to men's self restraint that they take it for granted. But now we have the red pillars and the alpha maleists who seem to think somehow that Awama is emasculating, and they're encouraging men to throw their weight around and be more assertive and aggressive towards women. This is completely contrary to masculinity, to rudula, and it exposes such men as the weakest and most insecure among us. If you resent being qawam, if you resent the social repercussions of qawama, and you hate the security and the safety and, yes, the privilege that Arakawama provides women, then, yeah, your masculinity is in crisis because the safety, security, and comfort of women is evidence of masculinity, not the opposite.