No, zina is not inevitable

You know, a few people commented on my video about abstinence being the best way to avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection predictably by saying that, you know, abstinence is an impossible expectation. It's unrealistic to expect people to not engage in, intercourse outside of marriage because, you know, people have desires. If you take this view, even if you're a non Muslim, to me, you have accepted a very contemptuous view of humanity and of yourself. You have bought into the very modern idea that, desires cannot be resisted and that human beings are just helpless to temptation. And frankly, there's some cognitive dissonance going on here.

I mean, makes it sound like avoiding zina is like going outside and walking between the raindrops. The truth is, even with the near unanimous acceptance of intercourse outside of marriage, it's not actually that easy to get someone to go to bed with you. I mean, are books and books and YouTube channels and dating gurus dedicated to teaching people how to successfully get someone to sleep with them. I mean, there's a whole community of people, the incels, seething with resentment about the fact that they can't get a girlfriend. And the red pill community is convinced that eighty percent of men are permanently exiled from the so called sexual marketplace.

And statistically, the facts are that young people today are actually engaging in intercourse outside of marriage less than previous generations. So apparently, abstinence is actually considerably easier than finding a willing partner for intimacy, whether that be for a relationship or for a fling. And now if you're Muslim and you're thinking this way that abstinence is impossible or unrealistic, what are you saying exactly? Have you just completely given up on the idea of having that characteristic of a that's described in the Quran, that's out the window? And all the and all the hadiths about protecting the private parts from haram?

I mean, is it impossible to avoid drinking alcohol or eating pig? To do those things, you don't even have to convince another person to do it with you. That's much easier than zina. But no one would ever say that it's inevitable that a Muslim will drink alcohol or it's inevitable that a Muslim will eat pig. I mean, be honest.

Committing zina takes a lot of effort, not to mention expense. I mean, you have to meet someone who is attracted to you enough to give you the time of day. You have to take them out. You have to seduce them, etcetera, etcetera. And that whole process, for men anyway, entails a massive amount of rejection, which means that it also requires considerable intention, determination, and multiple attempts.

Abstinence is way easier than that. I mean, look, if you said that it was unrealistic, to expect a man to never glance at a woman with desire, I would agree with you. That is impossible, which is why the first glance is pardoned and the second glance is not. The second deliberate glance is not. It's simply ridiculous and removed from reality to claim that abstinence is impossible or even unrealistic.

I mean, if you own it, committing to abstinence before marriage just reduces a huge amount of stress in your life. This is a very peculiar view that people have been led to believe about themselves that abstaining from intercourse before marriage is unrealistic or impossible. This idea that sleeping with someone outside of marriage is inevitable. That's not anyone's experience. I mean, every young man in the world wishes that it was inevitable, that by osmosis, eventually, he's inevitably going to get to sleep with somebody, but it's definitely not inevitable.

So why are we constantly telling each other that this thing that more and more people are finding more and more difficult to obtain is unavoidable. That's not the way it actually is for anyone, especially not when you're young and awkward and inexperienced. The inevitability of zina is a lie. So put in your mind that intimacy is something that will only happen with your spouse and you will save yourself a huge amount of anxiety struggling to find someone to go to bed with you. This will just make your life immeasurably easier.