The Divorcee Question

Let's talk about something that the Tomasin one of their favorite arguments, one of the things that they really feel is their strongest point for sort of Trojan horsing red pill into the Muslim community. And that's the issue of divorcees and the idea that you're not supposed to marry divorcees and you should marry virgins. Now one of the reasons why it's a strong argument for the Tomasiene is because, obviously, it is a natural preference of men to marry a woman who has not been previously married. And it is an obvious preference of men, therefore, to not marry divorcees. But when you say something like, if a divorcee approaches you for marriage, you should run for the hills.

When you say something like that, Muslims will react to that. They'll get triggered, and they will rush to the defense of divorced Muslim women or widows. And that's a noble instinct. We want people to be married, and we don't want women to be without a husband. So they argue badly against what the Thomassians say.

Their, choice of arguments is bad and they say things that are not really true. Like, for example, that there is a special virtue in marrying divorcees. There isn't. As far as I know, there is no special virtue in marrying a divorcee. Again, except in so far as we know that Rasulullah did it and by definition, whatever he did was virtuous.

But in terms of there being a special virtue, it's not like taking care of an orphan or something like this. There's no hadith about this as far as I know. There's no ayat. But that's not even the real question. The are not in a position to demand that we prove that it is virtuous to marry divorcees because we didn't start this argument.

You started the argument by saying that, basically, divorcees should be shunned. Now we don't have to prove to you that it's virtuous to marry them. You have to prove to us that it's the wrong thing to do. You have to prove to us in the Quran and Sunnah with evidence from hadith or ayat that it is disliked, discouraged, or prohibited to marry divorcees. You have to prove from the Quran and Sunnah that marrying divorcees was some special accommodation only for the prophet and that it wasn't a regular practice among the Sahaba.

You have to prove your position that divorcees should not be married Because that's never been the Muslim position, and it has never been the Muslim position that it was particularly virtuous to marry them. You can marry them or not marry them. You can marry a virgin or you can marry a previously married woman. It's up to you. It's an issue that is Mubah.

So you need to prove that it is not Mubah, that it is Makru or Haram or whatever it is that you think it is. If you're going to be advising men to not marry divorcees, to avoid divorcees at all costs, you have to give a reason. You have to substantiate that position via Quran and Sunnah. The bottom line is marry them or don't marry them, nobody cares. It's entirely up to you and it's your business.

When Rasulullah Sallam mentioned the reasons for which a woman is married, He did not mention that she is a virgin, and he did not mention that she is previously married. These are two factors that do not actually enter into the criteria of whether or not a woman will be a good wife. Simple. Her status in terms of a previous relationship or having no previous relationship is not on that list. So you have to come up with the reason in Quran and Sunnah, a religious reason why divorcees should not be married.

They are the ones who are taking a position that you should not and that it's a bad idea and that you should run for the hills instead of marrying a divorcee. So you, the Tomasin red pillars, you who are making that argument, you have to come up with evidence from Quran and Sunnah to justify and substantiate that position. And don't come up with evidence about pair bonding or whatever you find from a Tomasi book or from some social, some social science studies, some sociological studies that say divorced women can't pair bond and whatnot. You judge the woman according to her qualities and marry her according to her qualities, and she does the same with regards to you.